About

johnahnz0rs, aka Mr. Johnahn Onelove


Mission / Vision

I want to chronicle and display my attempts to create The Good Life for myself, even the "failures" because there are valuable lessons there.

I imagine a world where we acknowledge that everyone has a unique gift they can give to the world, where our planetary culture is to encourage everyone to know their unique gift ASAP (using knowledge of self) so that they contribute to a happier, more enlightened world.


Autobiography

Childhood

I was born in Seoul, the capital city of the Republic of Korea (S. Korea). I moved several times before even hitting double digits in age, and that taught me about the pain of loss very early on, having lost a series of best friends. Eventually my family landed in a small town in the Dirty Jerz by the name of Cliffside Park: "Cliffside is the best side" & "Jersey represent".

I had a pretty good childhood, all things considered. My father was very tough and strict (sometimes a little too much), but he taught me how to learn, and I am eternally grateful for that. My mother showed me unconditional and unending love no matter how much of a little shithead I was, and that experience remains one of my strengths to this day.

We were a poor, working class family, and I often felt the pain of not being as well off as some of the people we met. But as I matured, I found that I was actually VERY blessed. I try to remember that always and pay it forward as often as I can.

I spent my childhood years playing all kinds of sports and enjoying being outdoors; playing with firecrackers; participating in summer reading programs at the library in which you received coupons for Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas whenever you read a certain number of books; getting straight A's; and being weird but interesting. Oh, did I mention I was a little shithead? Because I was.

Teenage years

I met my oldest friend Nathan Wailes when we were ten years old. He's still my confidant and advisor; I believe he'll be the first billionaire among our peers because he's not a human; he's a learning and thinking machine sent from the past to bang young supermodels. But I'm taller and more handsome, so suck it, Nathan. In our freshman year of high school, he handed me Dr. Dre's album The Chronic, and it blew my fucking mind. I have not been the same since.

I met my closest and dearest friend Denise Mercado when we were fourteen. She played a HUGE part in me becoming who I am today, mostly by refusing to sleep with me in favor of being my friend because I'm a really good friend – ask anybody. I still trust her with all of my deepest secrets, hopes, fears, etc; and I couldn't have asked for a more awesome friend. I'm very happy to know her, and I hope to see her die... you know, when we're like 120. Plus, she's super cute, imho. Sup, ma?

The three of us attended a magnet high school in NJ, where we were often told we were the "best and brightest". I took that to heart, which accounts for my self-confidence as well as my previous know-it-all attitude. This is where I learned: how to cook; that you can't trust the system, man; and that money is evil. It was odd: I was so confident in my beliefs but at the same time, I lived in a fantasy world. I thoroughly enjoyed my high school experience , and I have to thank my school and classmates for accepting this weird, fat, Asian kid who liked peanut butter and was more interested in enjoying myself (the dean once called me "The Ringleader") than in getting good grades; I received the senior superlative of Class Clown (tongue)

I'm of the generation that first had access to high speed internet. I hope everyone realizes what a fucking miracle and blessing high speed internet is. Like, old people STILL don't understand that they can ask Google literally ANYTHING and get answers. There's no excuse for "I don't know" anymore; you better be saying, "I'll find out". Plus, HD porn; I still remember perusing my friend's stack of Playboys prior to the internet.

In high school, I was a part of a group of friends that I still call The z0rs Corps (because we spent/spend ALOT of time online), aka the Matt Diamond Crew (because Matt Diamond was the hub to our respective spokes). It's very sad to me that our paths have diverged as much as they did, and a part of me holds myself responsible for that. I wish I had been a better friend to all of you. We were supposed to take over the world... 

As I was exiting my teenage years, I fell into a deep depression. At one point, I even put a gun to my head but decided I wasn't going out like that because I felt entitled to a better life than one of misery and pain. I hope every depressed person comes to the same realization. Plus, I didn't want my friends to have to clean up my brains; they would've been very upset about that. I'm so grateful for all the people I met whose influence led to me putting that gun down because I am much happier and more hopeful now. And if I'm being honest, it was really scary to feel that steel against my temple. Feel free to ask me more about this.

Early adulthood

I finished my bachelor's degree in anthropology at Cal. Being away from home for the first time in my early 20's allowed me to really dig deep into who the fuck I am and why. Much gratitude to my therapist Kate Harling, who so patiently and empathetically taught me how to examine and understand myself; I still think of her often.

I was also fortunate to live with a number of beautiful souls, at the Coconut House and the Mango House, who gave me alot of love and support, even while I continued to act like a shithead at times. I also want to thank my boxing coaches who trained and supported me while I transformed myself into the sexy, nose-breaking machine that I am today.

For money, I worked mostly pizza kitchens because it's my soul food, and I was homesick. Eventually I quit because I realized I wanted to give more to the world than plates of food. Plus, the pay sucked.

After college, I tried my hand at a number of industries and positions: I was a kitchen manager in LA; I'm still a Certified Personal Trainer (NASM); bookkeeper at a playground construction company; co-founder of a dog-jogging company (Doggy Jogs: we jog your dog, dawg); t-shirt designer; yogi; and such.

Eventually, I moved to Washington, DC, to work with my oldest friend Nathan at a small startup. I started as a contractor, got promoted to Project Manager, then got promoted again to their General Manager. I learned ALOT about the how cold and uncaring the world is about any of your shit. I also learned how to build relationships; manage people; liaise with dumbass, self-centered government officials; represent in small claims court; start side businesses and turn a profit; and such. My CEO at that startup is my first real mentor; and as hard as he had me work for him, he also paid it back generously. It was also my first taste of financial independence; that experience really helped me understand and forgive my dad for alot of his [perceived] shortcomings.

Thirties

I turned 30 in DC. It really didn't hit me until a few months after my birthday, but one day I woke up, and I wasn't a child anymore. I had let go of fantasies and stared Life plainly in the face. I made peace with most of my demons, and I'm now committed to being the captain of my own life. I'm still 30 at the time I'm writing this, and I'm all hope and hard work.

Currently, I'm learning Javascript, and I hope to attend a coding bootcamp in the coming months because tech is here to stay, and I'd rather be a creator/god than just an end-user/consumer/customer.

I'm also now a huge fan of getting paid. But I always remember: to whom much is given, much is expected; and having been given so many blessings throughout Life, I feel I have to pay it all back, pay it forward.

The future

Time will tell. Hopefully, it comprises more money than I'll ever need, a queen, and bigger problems to solve: The Good Life. Also, I have a hard-on for a zombie apocalypse; I hope, I wish, I dream.